Even before Islam was introduced to Yathrib, Rumaysa was known for her excellent character, the power of her intellect and her independent attitude of mind. She was popularly known as Umm Sulaym. Umm Sulaym was first married to Malik ibn an-Nadr and her son by this marriage was the famous Anas ibn Malik, one of the great companions of the Prophet
Umm Sulaym was one of the first women of Yathrib to accept Islam. She was influenced by the refined, dedicated and persuasive Musab ibn Umayr who was sent out as the first missionary or ambassador of Islam by the noble Prophet. This was after the first pledge of Aqabah. Twelve men of Yathrib had gone to Aqabah on the outskirts of Makkah to pledge loyalty to the Prophet. This was the first major break through for the mission of the Prophet for many years.
Umm Sulaym's decision to accept Islam was made without the knowledge or consent of her husband, Malik ibn an-Nadr. He was absent from Yathrib at the time and when he returned he felt some change had come over his household and asked his wife: "Have you been rejuvenated?" "No," she said, "but I (now) believe in this man (meaning the Prophet Muhammad)."
Malik was not pleased especially when his wife went on to announce her acceptance of Islam in public and instruct her ten year old son Anas in the teachings and practice of the new faith. She taught him to say, “La ilaha ilia Allah and Ash hadu anna Muhammadar Rasulullah.” The young Anas repeated this simple but profound declaration of faith clearly and emphatically. Umm Sulaym's husband was now furious. He shouted at her: "Don't corrupt my son." "I am not corrupting him," she replied firmly and persisted in her Islam.
Consequently her husband left the her and went away
to
When it was known that Umm Sulaym had become a widow, one man, Zayd ibn Sahl, known as Abu Talhah, resolved to become engaged to her before anyone else did. He was rather confident that Umm Sulaym would not pass him over for another. He was after all considered one of Madinah’s strongest, best looking, and richest men, whom many of the young Madinan women were interested in. He possessed an imposing house that was much admired, was an accomplished horseman, skilful archer and, moreover, he belonged to the same clan as Umm Sulaym, the Banu Najjar. Abu Talhah proceeded to Umm Sulaym's house. On the way he recalled that she had been influenced by the preaching of Musab ibn Umayr and had become a Muslim.
"So what?" he said to himself. "Was not her husband who died a firm adherent of the old religion and was he not opposed to Muhammad and his mission?"
Abu Talhah reached Umm Sulaym's house. He asked and was given permission to enter. Her son Anas was present. Abu Talhah explained why he had come and asked for her hand in marriage. To his astonishment, she told him, “O Abu Talhah, do you not know that your god whom you worship is just a tree that grew in the ground and was carved into shape by the slave of Banu so-and-so.” He said, “Of course.” She said, “Do you not feel ashamed to prostrate yourself to a piece of wood that grew in the ground and was carved by the slave of Banu so-and-so?” Abu Talhah was stubborn, and hinted to her of an expensive dowry and luxurious lifestyle, but she persisted in her point of view, and told him frankly: "A man like you, Abu Talhah ," she said, "is not (easily) turned away. But I shall never marry you while you are an unbeliever." Abu Talhah thought she was trying to put him off and that perhaps she had already preferred someone wealthier and more influential. He said to her: "What is it that really prevents you from accepting me, Umm Sulaym? Is it the yellow and the white metals (gold and silver)?" "Gold and silver?" she asked somewhat taken aback and in a slightly censuring tone. "Yes," he said. "I swear to you, Abu Talhah, and I swear to God and His Messenger that if you accept Islam, I shall be pleased to accept you as a husband, without any gold or silver. I shall consider your acceptance of Islam as my mahr."
Abu Talhah understood well the implications of her words. His mind turned to the idol he had made from wood and on which he lavished great attention in the same way that important men of his tribe venerated and cared for their personal idols.
The opportunity was right for Umm Sulaym to stress the futility of such idol worship and she went on: "Don't you know Abu Talhah, that the god you worship besides Allah grew from the earth?" "That's true," he said.
"Don't you feel stupid while worshipping part of a tree, while you use the rest of it for fuel to bake bread or warm yourself? (If you should give up these foolish beliefs and practices) and become a Muslim, Abu Talhah, I shall be pleased to accept you as a husband and I would not want from you any sadaqah apart from your acceptance of Islam."
"Who shall instruct me in Islam?" asked Abu Talhah. "I shall," Umm Sulaym replied. "How ?"
"Utter the declaration of truth and testify that there is no god but Allah and that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah. Then go to your house, destroy your idol and throw it away."
Abu Talhah left and reflected deeply on what Umm Sulaym had said. He came back to her beaming with happiness.
"I have taken your advice to heart. I declare that there is no god but Allah and I declare that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah."
Umm Sulaym and Abu Talhah were married. Anas, her son, was pleased and the Muslims would say: "We have never yet heard of a mahr (dowry) that was more valuable and precious than that of Umm Sulaym, for she made Islam her mahr."
Umm Sulaym was pleased and delighted with her new husband who placed his unique energies and talents in the service of Islam. He was one of the seventy-three men who swore allegiance to the Prophet at the second Pledge of Aqabah. With him, was his wife Umm Sulaym. Two other women, the celebrated Nusaybah bint Ka’ab and Asma bint Amr witnessed Aqabah and took the oath of allegiance to the Prophet.
Abu Talhah was devoted to the Prophet and took enormous delight in simply looking at him and listening to the sweetness of his speech. He participated in all the major military campaigns. He lived a very ascetic life and was known to fast for long periods at a time. It is said that he had a fantastic orchard in Madinah with date palms and grapes and running water. One day while he was performing Salat in the shade of the trees, a beautiful bird with brightly colored plumage flew in front of him. He became engrossed in the scene and forgot how many rakats he had prayed. Two? Three? When he completed the Prayer he went to the Prophet and described how he had been distracted. In the end, he said: "Bear witness, Messenger of Allah, that I hand over this orchard as a charity for the sake of Allah, the Exalted."
Abu Talhah and Umm Sulaym had an exemplary Muslim family life, devoted to the Prophet and the service of Muslims and Islam. The Prophet used to visit their home. Sometimes when the time of Prayer came, he would pray on a mat provided by Umm Sulaym. Sometimes also he would have a siesta in their house and, as he slept, she would wipe the perspiration from his forehead. Once when the Prophet awoke from his siesta, he asked: "Umm Sulaym, what are you doing?" "I am taking these (drops of perspiration) as a barakah (blessing) which comes from you," she replied.
Rumaysa had set out on various military campaigns to help provide water to
the thirsty and nursing the wounded. However, history had another role for her
to play. During the Battle of Uhud she was one
of the women who defended the Prophet. During the Battle of Hunayn,
when the enemy suddenly attacked at dawn, showering down arrows from the hills,
the Muslims were taken by surprise and many began to flee. A small group stood
firm with the Prophet, one of whom was Rumaysa bint
Milhan. Despite being pregnant at the time, she had armed herself with a dagger
to use against the unbelievers.
Another incident involving Rumaysa and her husband Abu Talha includes Abu Hurayra. It was known that Abu Hurayra lived in the antechambers of the Prophet’s mosque and suffered hunger almost all the time. Once Abu Hurayra went to God’s Messenger, upon him be peace and blessings, and told him that he had not eaten for days. Abu Talha took him as a guest but unfortunately there was little in his house to eat, as well. However, he said to his wife, Umm Sulaym, ‘Get the children to sleep early at night, and put on the table whatever is in the house to eat. When we sit at the table, put out the candle pre-tending to make its light brighter. No one sees in the dark whether one is really eating or not. I will act as if I am eating, and thus our guest can satisfy his hunger.’
After the dawn prayer, God’s Messenger turned to them and smiled, saying: What did you do that night? This verse was revealed concerning you: “Those who made their dwelling in the abode [Madina], and in belief, before them [the Emigrants] love whoever has emigrated to them, not finding in their breasts any need for what they have been given, and preferring others above themselves, even though poverty be their portion. Whoever is guarded against the avarice of his own soul, those – they are the prosperous”. (Al-Hashr, 59.9)151
At another time, the Prophet went to their house and Umm Sulaym offered him dates and butterfat but he did not have any of it because he was fasting. Occasionally, she would send her son Anas with bags of dates to his house.
It was noticed that the Prophet, peace be upon him, had a special compassion for Umm Sulaym and her family and when asked about it, he replied: "Her brother was killed beside me."
Umm Sulaym also had a well-known sister, Umm Haram,
the wife of the imposing Ubadah ibn
as-Samit. She died at sea during a naval expedition
and was buried in
In the face of adversity, Umm Sulaym displayed a unique calmness and
strength. One of her young sons (Umayr) fell sick and
died while her husband was away looking after his orchards. She bathed the child
and wrapped him in shrouds. She told others at her home that they should not
inform Abu Talhah because she herself wanted to tell him. When he came home and was relaxed she said,
"O Abu Talhah, do you think that if a people lent something to a household,
then asked for it back, do they have the right not to return it?" He said,
"No." She said, "Then resign yourself
to the death of your son." She was keenly aware of the trust that Allah
had given to her in the form of her children.
Umm Sulaym had another son whose name was Abdullah. A few days after she gave birth, she sent Anas with the baby and a bag of dates to the Prophet. The Prophet placed the baby on his lap. He crushed the dates in his mouth and put some in the baby's mouth. The baby sucked the dates with relish and the Prophet said: "The Ansar are only fond of dates." Abdullah eventually grew up and had seven children all of whom memorized the Quran.
Umm Sulaym was a model Muslim, a model wife and mother. Her belief in God was strong and uncompromising. She was not prepared to endanger her faith and the upbringing of her children for wealth and luxury, however abundant and tempting.
She was devoted to the Prophet and dedicated her son Anas to his service. She took the responsibility of educating her children and she played an active part in public life, sharing with the other Muslims the hardships and the joys of building a community and living for the pleasure of God.
References:
· Companions of the Prophet vol 2 by Abdul Wahid Hamid
· Companions of the Holy Prophet Vol III by N. M. Shaikh